Deep thought number two! (I warned you!!!) Before I get into my thought I just wanted you all to know I am writing while sitting in the top bunk of a bunk bed...be jealous. Also I wore a skirt all day today to help ease me into the fact that I will be wearing a skirt every day 18 months.... It was very cold thank goodness I am going to Georgia and not anywhere in Idaho! And Idaho wind and skirts definitely don't mix well. Anyway back to my reason for posting...onward ho!
I have a little habit...I love to fix people. I like to go out of my way to find those who are struggling or alone and do all that I can to help them. Most of the time this simply means being their friend and being there for them when they need it. It has been so awesome over the years watching these people grown and become excellent. There was a time when I refused to believe that it was impossible to fix someone. I thought that through love, patience, and by example you could inspire anyone to change the way they are. Sadly I have learned that this isn't always the case. I can't have someone do something or act differently for me. They aren't really changing that way. They are simply trying to make me happy instead of doing it for themselves. I have also come to realize that them deciding to do it for themselves is the make or break it element. If they don't want to they won't. Sometimes they aren't going to desire the same things you want for them. And it isn't your fault. There wasn't anything you could have done differently. Sometimes you have to let them make their own choices and pray that one day they will come around.
I know that when we are on our missions we will encounter people like this. There will be investigators or simply people that you meet that you want to accept the gospel so badly. But they don't want it or they aren't quite ready yet. I think this feeling of disappointment and sadness will be one of the hardest parts of our mission. We can't let that get us down though. One day given the right time and circumstances they will come to know for themselves. We can't force it on them. All we can do is love them and let them know that no matter what they chose we will be there for them.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Too Legit to Quit
Oh man. Prepare yourselves. There is a lot of late night deep thought vomit spinning around in my head. (so much for going to bed at ten thirty) (oh well baby steps, baby steps) (don't judge me for today though I had a good reason for being awake) Wow. Sometimes those little comments in the() make me really happy. Deep thought of the night number one...I am legit therefore I can not quit...anything.
I work with special needs kids and it is awesome! My bosses are also pretty awesome and to help me make more money and help me get ready for my mission they got me extra hours two days a week working at the adult center. So on Wednesday I went to my first day...oh boy. It was very intense and pretty much I didn't want to work there. I just didn't want to do it and was having a this is hard and I hate it moment. As much as I hated it I was torn. I didn't want to work there, but the money would be so nice. So what better way to solve my problem then to pray about it!
Sometimes I really hate the answer to my prayers. The Lord knows what He is doing and He knows me. He realizes that occasionally I don't like the answers I get so then He explains to me sometimes why it is what it is. Today as I was thinking about my work situation He did just that. He brought a very good point to my attention. Am I really going to quit something just because it's hard? No. Who does that!? Not I. And am I really going to stop because I don't like it. It's work, it's money I am so lucky to find a place that will hire me for two months and go out of their way to get me hours. Why am I complaining? And if I quit this because it's hard isn't that just setting up a pattern for later in life. There are going to be things in life, especially on my mission that are hard. I am not going to want to do some things, but that doesn't mean I should quiet. No. It is time to buck up buttercup! Get the job done. Because the way I am living now and the choices I make are shaping my forever. It's time to start making some that will make my future that much easier.
I work with special needs kids and it is awesome! My bosses are also pretty awesome and to help me make more money and help me get ready for my mission they got me extra hours two days a week working at the adult center. So on Wednesday I went to my first day...oh boy. It was very intense and pretty much I didn't want to work there. I just didn't want to do it and was having a this is hard and I hate it moment. As much as I hated it I was torn. I didn't want to work there, but the money would be so nice. So what better way to solve my problem then to pray about it!
Sometimes I really hate the answer to my prayers. The Lord knows what He is doing and He knows me. He realizes that occasionally I don't like the answers I get so then He explains to me sometimes why it is what it is. Today as I was thinking about my work situation He did just that. He brought a very good point to my attention. Am I really going to quit something just because it's hard? No. Who does that!? Not I. And am I really going to stop because I don't like it. It's work, it's money I am so lucky to find a place that will hire me for two months and go out of their way to get me hours. Why am I complaining? And if I quit this because it's hard isn't that just setting up a pattern for later in life. There are going to be things in life, especially on my mission that are hard. I am not going to want to do some things, but that doesn't mean I should quiet. No. It is time to buck up buttercup! Get the job done. Because the way I am living now and the choices I make are shaping my forever. It's time to start making some that will make my future that much easier.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
In Everything we See
Last thought of deepness for the night. (Honestly I probably have five billion more, but work killed me and I'm sleepy and you probably don't want to know all of them) (so I will spare you...be grateful!) This is a really good one. How do you know? Because I saved the Georgia font for it of course! The best font for the best thoughts! This one is even directly related to the gospel.
Like I have mentioned before I have been practicing my skills at being able to relate things to the gospel. I have been working pretty hard at this actually because I feel like it will be a very important tool in the mission field. I know that for me personally when I am struggling with learning a new principal it is easier if it is explained to me in a way that I understand. Which is the very purpose for relating the gospel to other things. Normally when I do this I have to consciously work to pick a topic and find a way to relate it to the gospel. But today something great happened! I didn't have to try. When I was doing things today or watching things I found myself find a way to tie it all in with the Church! So great!
The purpose for this blog isn't to brag about my new found gospel relation skills. It is about what I learned from that. If we are in the right mind set and are doing all we can to be close to the gospel it is so easy to see it everywhere we look. Part of being a missionary is that this gospel becomes everything in our lives. It dominates our conversation and our time and will eventually take over our thoughts. Once this starts to happen you can look at the world and see the Lord's hand in all things. Even if it is something sad you find a way that it relates to the things that we are taught.
The key to this activity is mentally and spiritually preparing ourselves for it. It isn't going to come easy to us if we don't practice. I have literally been practicing this since the beginning of the semester and it is just starting to click. But just because it is hard doesn't mean we shouldn't try. Once it all clicks it is worth it. It is amazing to have your random thoughts start to be about the gospel instead of what you're going to eat for dinner and who the cutest boy in your class is. We are old enough and in a place in our lives where it is time for those thoughts to go. When you start to live the gospel, breathe the gospel, and think the gospel the rest of your life starts to fall in to place. You are so much happier and feel a kind of peace that isn't felt any other way. I encourage you to try it. To catch yourself thinking about other things and replace it with a thought about the gospel. Or picking out different topics in the world to relate back to the gospel and one of its principles. I testify that when you start to do that things make sense and life is good.
Like I have mentioned before I have been practicing my skills at being able to relate things to the gospel. I have been working pretty hard at this actually because I feel like it will be a very important tool in the mission field. I know that for me personally when I am struggling with learning a new principal it is easier if it is explained to me in a way that I understand. Which is the very purpose for relating the gospel to other things. Normally when I do this I have to consciously work to pick a topic and find a way to relate it to the gospel. But today something great happened! I didn't have to try. When I was doing things today or watching things I found myself find a way to tie it all in with the Church! So great!
The purpose for this blog isn't to brag about my new found gospel relation skills. It is about what I learned from that. If we are in the right mind set and are doing all we can to be close to the gospel it is so easy to see it everywhere we look. Part of being a missionary is that this gospel becomes everything in our lives. It dominates our conversation and our time and will eventually take over our thoughts. Once this starts to happen you can look at the world and see the Lord's hand in all things. Even if it is something sad you find a way that it relates to the things that we are taught.
The key to this activity is mentally and spiritually preparing ourselves for it. It isn't going to come easy to us if we don't practice. I have literally been practicing this since the beginning of the semester and it is just starting to click. But just because it is hard doesn't mean we shouldn't try. Once it all clicks it is worth it. It is amazing to have your random thoughts start to be about the gospel instead of what you're going to eat for dinner and who the cutest boy in your class is. We are old enough and in a place in our lives where it is time for those thoughts to go. When you start to live the gospel, breathe the gospel, and think the gospel the rest of your life starts to fall in to place. You are so much happier and feel a kind of peace that isn't felt any other way. I encourage you to try it. To catch yourself thinking about other things and replace it with a thought about the gospel. Or picking out different topics in the world to relate back to the gospel and one of its principles. I testify that when you start to do that things make sense and life is good.
My Kind of Happiness
Ah! It is so late, why am I awake? Oh right it was New Years, huzzah 2013!! I should be asleep though...actually I'm even in bed. But you see here's the problem this is when my mind starts to think deeply instead of sleep. Hopefully by releasing my deep thoughts I can sleep. Also here is a warning although this is a deep post I have yet to think of a way to relate it to missionary work...so there is a chance that I won't have thought of a way by the end of it. So...awkward as that is enjoy it.
With the passing of the old year and the coming of the new year I have been pondering. Not just because it's a new year, but I have gone through quite a few changes recently. During these pondering sessions I have played many memories in my head. Memories of high school, college, memories with friends and family. In these memories I have realized I am crazy. I participate in crazy activities and I take perfectly normal people and convince them to join my craziness. Or I find other crazies and we make more craziness. Not only am I crazy I'm weird. Really though. I enjoy coloring giant coloring books, collecting fortune cookie fortunes, playing bop-it, building forts, shoving as many grapes as I possibly can in my mouth, blowing up gingerbread houses, and so many more crazily weird activities that you can't even imagine it.
As I was reflecting upon these memories and activities I realized something. They are weird and occasionally dangerous, but it all makes me happy. Being weird and doing crazy things that sometimes draw attention to myself in a negative way are things that make me enjoy life. I may not be the proper age appropriate girl that others are. I may stay up to late and sleep too much, but I love every moment of it. The last couple of years I can look back and honestly say I wouldn't change anything. How many people can say that? I know there was a time when I couldn't. But once I started to forget about what people thought and the things I was supposed to do I started to enjoy myself. I started to enjoy life. People may judge me for the things I do, but it doesn't matter. It's my life not theirs. I'm just being happy.
It may not be the life and the path that I planned, but it's one that I enjoy. Isn't that why we're here? Men are that they may have joy. I think as long as you are living righteously and doing the things you should be the rest of it doesn't matter. So what if bunnies make me happy? Who cares if I love FFA? You shouldn't care either. Stop worrying about the world and do those things that make you happy. Those not so normal activities that bring a little bit of light to your day. The spur of a moment un-planned acts that make the best memories. Live your life. Enjoy the opportunities that you encounter some of them you won't ever have again. Live a life worth remembering, one without regrets. So that when this time comes next year you can look back and smile.
(Here it comes I just thought of a way to tie this whole idea in with the mission themed blog) (Huzzah!) There are going to be people in the world who judge us for our decision to serve missions. Both people in the Church and out of it. And both people before our missions and after. The thing I think these people are missing is that serving the Lord and giving up time in our lives is a happy thing. Sure we may miss out on some things, but nothing that we can't catch up on. This work is a work of joy. We are going to give people a gift and watch it change their lives. We are the happy messengers of a happy gospel. I honestly can't think of anything that would make me happier than being worthy to serve a mission and having the opportunity to do so. Serve with a happy attitude and you will find the kind of happiness only serving others and the gospel will bring.
Also I know this is an ad for a car but watch it anyway. It's really good and helps to illustrate just how boring normal is.
Being Normal
With the passing of the old year and the coming of the new year I have been pondering. Not just because it's a new year, but I have gone through quite a few changes recently. During these pondering sessions I have played many memories in my head. Memories of high school, college, memories with friends and family. In these memories I have realized I am crazy. I participate in crazy activities and I take perfectly normal people and convince them to join my craziness. Or I find other crazies and we make more craziness. Not only am I crazy I'm weird. Really though. I enjoy coloring giant coloring books, collecting fortune cookie fortunes, playing bop-it, building forts, shoving as many grapes as I possibly can in my mouth, blowing up gingerbread houses, and so many more crazily weird activities that you can't even imagine it.
As I was reflecting upon these memories and activities I realized something. They are weird and occasionally dangerous, but it all makes me happy. Being weird and doing crazy things that sometimes draw attention to myself in a negative way are things that make me enjoy life. I may not be the proper age appropriate girl that others are. I may stay up to late and sleep too much, but I love every moment of it. The last couple of years I can look back and honestly say I wouldn't change anything. How many people can say that? I know there was a time when I couldn't. But once I started to forget about what people thought and the things I was supposed to do I started to enjoy myself. I started to enjoy life. People may judge me for the things I do, but it doesn't matter. It's my life not theirs. I'm just being happy.
It may not be the life and the path that I planned, but it's one that I enjoy. Isn't that why we're here? Men are that they may have joy. I think as long as you are living righteously and doing the things you should be the rest of it doesn't matter. So what if bunnies make me happy? Who cares if I love FFA? You shouldn't care either. Stop worrying about the world and do those things that make you happy. Those not so normal activities that bring a little bit of light to your day. The spur of a moment un-planned acts that make the best memories. Live your life. Enjoy the opportunities that you encounter some of them you won't ever have again. Live a life worth remembering, one without regrets. So that when this time comes next year you can look back and smile.
(Here it comes I just thought of a way to tie this whole idea in with the mission themed blog) (Huzzah!) There are going to be people in the world who judge us for our decision to serve missions. Both people in the Church and out of it. And both people before our missions and after. The thing I think these people are missing is that serving the Lord and giving up time in our lives is a happy thing. Sure we may miss out on some things, but nothing that we can't catch up on. This work is a work of joy. We are going to give people a gift and watch it change their lives. We are the happy messengers of a happy gospel. I honestly can't think of anything that would make me happier than being worthy to serve a mission and having the opportunity to do so. Serve with a happy attitude and you will find the kind of happiness only serving others and the gospel will bring.
Also I know this is an ad for a car but watch it anyway. It's really good and helps to illustrate just how boring normal is.
Being Normal
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Deep Thought from the End-zone
My last football blog has inspired more football thoughts of the deepest kind. Also this particular post makes me happy at the moment because the name of the font I am using is called Georgia. Ha I love Georgia and all things Georgia related. Anyway back to my thoughts of epic deepness that concern football. Oh wait one more thing before the deepness, you know this is going to be a great thought because the title is so good. Honestly it's probably the best title I've ever come up with. Anyway to the end-zone...
I have been watching football all day and I am not complaining. As I was watching football I remembered something my mission prep teacher taught me. In our first few lessons he kept trying to teach us and show us how to take a random topic and relate it back to the gospel. So I decided I should try and relate football back to the gospel. It could come in handy later. I have heard that the people of the south love football almost as much as I do. So here goes my attempt...
There are several lessons I have learned from football...the first comes from watching quarterbacks. There are the quarterbacks you handle pressure in the pocket and can duck, jump, and doge their way out of almost any situation. Then there are those who see the pocket crumble and take the the sack. I don't think it is the skills of these players that make them so different. Both quarterbacks are good, elite athletes. If they weren't good they wouldn't be playing at that level. I think the difference in the way they play and the success they have deals with heart. One bad play, one sack, and they can't fall apart. They must refuse to give up and keep on throwing keep on trying for that W on their record. Play after play a successful quarterback doesn't give up and keeps trying. Successful missionaries and church members should work in a similar way. No matter how futile the play or situation feels we can not give up. It may at times seem like what we are called to do or the area we are called to work on is futile. But we must keep trying. If we listen to our coach (the Savior) and heed his guidance and use his plays we will get that win. Alone we can't do it, but if we listen to our coach and use our teammates we can be successful.
Lesson number two: play for the name on the front of your jersey. I notice more in college football than the NFL that there are players that play for themselves. (cough cough T.O.) These players may be great and talented, but they can't win a football game on their own. It is the players that play for their school, for their coach that win games and win championships. They forget themselves and their own personal glory and try and bring glory to the team. We need to be the same way. We need to forget that name on the back of our jerseys and realize we are part of a bigger picture. We aren't just fighting for our own salvation, but we are fighting to spread the gospel and save others. We aren't playing for ourselves we are playing for our Savior's gospel we are on his team. It is only when we forget ourselves and get to work that things get done.
Lesson number three (the last one for now because there is a giant penguin picture that I must color) (yes I am 20 years old and love to color in giant coloring books). Comebacks are real. All the time in football teams come out of nowhere to pull off the upset and the win. All of the sudden the team starts to click and can do no wrong. They can come back from a humiliating half or even pull it out in the fourth quarter. Don't believe me google Eli Manning. This is the same as the battle we are fighting against evil. At times it may seem like we are fighting a losing battle. That our church and our gospel isn't spreading like it should. That the world is just too evil. But the fourth quarter hasn't hit yet. We are on the winning team and He is saving His best players for the final drive. His strongest players are coming off the sidelines and going out to spread the gospel and get a touchdown. We are those players. We may be pulled later and get tired quickly, but there is a play that only we can do. A run or pass that we need to catch. Our time is coming the coach is getting ready to put us in. It up to us now to practice to go over the skills we are going to need. Our time is coming and it's up to us to be ready to play for our team and help with the winning drive.
I have been watching football all day and I am not complaining. As I was watching football I remembered something my mission prep teacher taught me. In our first few lessons he kept trying to teach us and show us how to take a random topic and relate it back to the gospel. So I decided I should try and relate football back to the gospel. It could come in handy later. I have heard that the people of the south love football almost as much as I do. So here goes my attempt...
There are several lessons I have learned from football...the first comes from watching quarterbacks. There are the quarterbacks you handle pressure in the pocket and can duck, jump, and doge their way out of almost any situation. Then there are those who see the pocket crumble and take the the sack. I don't think it is the skills of these players that make them so different. Both quarterbacks are good, elite athletes. If they weren't good they wouldn't be playing at that level. I think the difference in the way they play and the success they have deals with heart. One bad play, one sack, and they can't fall apart. They must refuse to give up and keep on throwing keep on trying for that W on their record. Play after play a successful quarterback doesn't give up and keeps trying. Successful missionaries and church members should work in a similar way. No matter how futile the play or situation feels we can not give up. It may at times seem like what we are called to do or the area we are called to work on is futile. But we must keep trying. If we listen to our coach (the Savior) and heed his guidance and use his plays we will get that win. Alone we can't do it, but if we listen to our coach and use our teammates we can be successful.
Lesson number two: play for the name on the front of your jersey. I notice more in college football than the NFL that there are players that play for themselves. (cough cough T.O.) These players may be great and talented, but they can't win a football game on their own. It is the players that play for their school, for their coach that win games and win championships. They forget themselves and their own personal glory and try and bring glory to the team. We need to be the same way. We need to forget that name on the back of our jerseys and realize we are part of a bigger picture. We aren't just fighting for our own salvation, but we are fighting to spread the gospel and save others. We aren't playing for ourselves we are playing for our Savior's gospel we are on his team. It is only when we forget ourselves and get to work that things get done.
Lesson number three (the last one for now because there is a giant penguin picture that I must color) (yes I am 20 years old and love to color in giant coloring books). Comebacks are real. All the time in football teams come out of nowhere to pull off the upset and the win. All of the sudden the team starts to click and can do no wrong. They can come back from a humiliating half or even pull it out in the fourth quarter. Don't believe me google Eli Manning. This is the same as the battle we are fighting against evil. At times it may seem like we are fighting a losing battle. That our church and our gospel isn't spreading like it should. That the world is just too evil. But the fourth quarter hasn't hit yet. We are on the winning team and He is saving His best players for the final drive. His strongest players are coming off the sidelines and going out to spread the gospel and get a touchdown. We are those players. We may be pulled later and get tired quickly, but there is a play that only we can do. A run or pass that we need to catch. Our time is coming the coach is getting ready to put us in. It up to us now to practice to go over the skills we are going to need. Our time is coming and it's up to us to be ready to play for our team and help with the winning drive.
The Thing I Love Most
There is something is this world I love a lot. And when I say a lot I mean more than I love breathing and cupcakes...that's a whole heck of a lot of love. This thing that I'm talking about is not a person, it's not even a giraffe...it's football! Football oh the pure greatness of it. I wish I could explain what it is exactly about the game that makes me love it, but alas I can't. I think it may have to do with watching it with my family or maybe because I'm angry inside and wish I could go around and tackle people. Whatever the reason, I love the game and I love to watch it.
It is that time in the year that football is winding down. The playoffs are starting and in just a few weeks the super bowl champions will be decided and the season will come to an end. This happens every year so no big deal...except it is! Once this season is over I will miss the next one! I'm just going to miss a season of football! I won't know if Payten gets re-broken or Eli finally decides to man up and get things done. Or if Turbin will ever get to start and so much more!! Sometimes I think Heavenly Father you and the Savior better realize how much I love you because I'm missing my football season. And then I had a deep thought about such things...
Football. All that I'm really sacrificing is a football season. I don't play I'm just watching. How selfish am I? There are people all over the world giving up so much more than I just to go to church let alone the huge sacrifices they make to go on a mission. They give up scholarships, money, and so much more that I can't even comprehend. I may love football more than life, but I am so lucky and so blessed that it is all that I am missing. I am so blessed to have the family that I do that not only has the means to help me, but is willing to help me afford my mission. I am so blessed to go to a school where it wasn't hard to leave for eighteen months and my scholarship will be intact when I return. I really have so much, so many things that I often take for granted.
From now on it is time to stop thinking about the things I will be missing, but think about the things that I have. It's time to notice all the little blessings in life and stop taking them for granted. I challenge you to do the same thing. To stop and think before you go to bed at night about all the little things that make your every day great. (Did you see that? That was like a commitment. Future missionary oh yeah!)
It is that time in the year that football is winding down. The playoffs are starting and in just a few weeks the super bowl champions will be decided and the season will come to an end. This happens every year so no big deal...except it is! Once this season is over I will miss the next one! I'm just going to miss a season of football! I won't know if Payten gets re-broken or Eli finally decides to man up and get things done. Or if Turbin will ever get to start and so much more!! Sometimes I think Heavenly Father you and the Savior better realize how much I love you because I'm missing my football season. And then I had a deep thought about such things...
Football. All that I'm really sacrificing is a football season. I don't play I'm just watching. How selfish am I? There are people all over the world giving up so much more than I just to go to church let alone the huge sacrifices they make to go on a mission. They give up scholarships, money, and so much more that I can't even comprehend. I may love football more than life, but I am so lucky and so blessed that it is all that I am missing. I am so blessed to have the family that I do that not only has the means to help me, but is willing to help me afford my mission. I am so blessed to go to a school where it wasn't hard to leave for eighteen months and my scholarship will be intact when I return. I really have so much, so many things that I often take for granted.
From now on it is time to stop thinking about the things I will be missing, but think about the things that I have. It's time to notice all the little blessings in life and stop taking them for granted. I challenge you to do the same thing. To stop and think before you go to bed at night about all the little things that make your every day great. (Did you see that? That was like a commitment. Future missionary oh yeah!)
Saturday, December 29, 2012
There is Only One You
Wow. Three posts in one night. What can I say? I'm just feeling super wise tonight. Super wise. Hold on to your hats for this one. It's a going to be good it's even mission related the last few haven't really been, but this one is more relevant I promise!
I am in this nifty little group on facebook that is full of nothing but sister missionaries! It's great really. But every once in a while I can't help but think that these fantastic sisters are going to be better at this whole missionary thing. That maybe it isn't something I'm going to be good at and that I'm taking up space that could be filled with a more suited young woman. I'm not exactly the quiet soft spoken kind of girl you typically think of when you think of a righteous girl. I'm not relief society teacher or presidency material. Sometimes I worry that because of my attitude and such I am going to have a harder time connecting to the investigators and even the ward members.
I also worry about problems with my future companions. I am not very girly and haven't been known to really get along with girls well. I know that they are going to worry about what they look like, while I'm just going to be missing sweats. I know that they are going to stress about their bodies and hardcore work out. Ha who are we kidding we all know I'm not like that. And I know that they are going to miss their boyfriends and plan their weddings...I'm going to plan my future with giraffes and miss my dog. Because of these differences and other issues I worry that maybe I should change. Maybe as part of my pre missionary changes I should work on who I am so I can get along better...but then I realized something.
I am me for a reason. There is a quote somewhere (my pinterest board is too big to find it) that says that Heavenly Father has made us who we are for a reason. There is something that we must do. No one else can be us and get done whatever it is that He is preparing us to do. I have had certain experiences and trials in life that others haven't. One day I will need those experiences. For what I don't know, but one day I will find out. Whatever the reason is, whatever it is that I must do I am me for a reason. I may be crazy, way too loud, too forgiving, love sweats and cake too much, VL (ha that one made me laugh), and have a future full of giraffes, but I love it. I am me and I kind of like it. You are you for a reason. You're mission in life and in the Church might not make sense right now, but one day it will. There are people out their in the world waiting for you to come into their lives. You see there is something about you and the way you are that will help them in a way that no one else can. It is up to you to be strong and confident in yourself so when that day comes you can act in the way that He intended.
I am in this nifty little group on facebook that is full of nothing but sister missionaries! It's great really. But every once in a while I can't help but think that these fantastic sisters are going to be better at this whole missionary thing. That maybe it isn't something I'm going to be good at and that I'm taking up space that could be filled with a more suited young woman. I'm not exactly the quiet soft spoken kind of girl you typically think of when you think of a righteous girl. I'm not relief society teacher or presidency material. Sometimes I worry that because of my attitude and such I am going to have a harder time connecting to the investigators and even the ward members.
I also worry about problems with my future companions. I am not very girly and haven't been known to really get along with girls well. I know that they are going to worry about what they look like, while I'm just going to be missing sweats. I know that they are going to stress about their bodies and hardcore work out. Ha who are we kidding we all know I'm not like that. And I know that they are going to miss their boyfriends and plan their weddings...I'm going to plan my future with giraffes and miss my dog. Because of these differences and other issues I worry that maybe I should change. Maybe as part of my pre missionary changes I should work on who I am so I can get along better...but then I realized something.
I am me for a reason. There is a quote somewhere (my pinterest board is too big to find it) that says that Heavenly Father has made us who we are for a reason. There is something that we must do. No one else can be us and get done whatever it is that He is preparing us to do. I have had certain experiences and trials in life that others haven't. One day I will need those experiences. For what I don't know, but one day I will find out. Whatever the reason is, whatever it is that I must do I am me for a reason. I may be crazy, way too loud, too forgiving, love sweats and cake too much, VL (ha that one made me laugh), and have a future full of giraffes, but I love it. I am me and I kind of like it. You are you for a reason. You're mission in life and in the Church might not make sense right now, but one day it will. There are people out their in the world waiting for you to come into their lives. You see there is something about you and the way you are that will help them in a way that no one else can. It is up to you to be strong and confident in yourself so when that day comes you can act in the way that He intended.
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