The Big Picture

   This last October session of Conference an announcement was made that turned the lives of young men and women upside down. For me the fact that Sisters could go on missions at the young age of 19 raced around in my head, over and over. It was so exciting. As I watched Conference the camera panned to the audience to show the faces of the thrilled and shocked young men and women. I turned away from the TV to my friends and watched the little freshman's eyes fill up with tears. Everyone was so excited and so happy. I was too...wasn't I? 
   I tried to be sincerely happy for all those young women who could suddenly go on a mission and start their papers the next day. I did all that I could so suppress the bitterness that was in the back of my mind and my heart, but I was slowly sinking in it. You see I'm not a young girl of 19 I'm 20 years old and will be 21 in March. Now I realize that 20 isn't old neither is 21. That wasn't my problem. I just couldn't help but think about how things would have been so much better for me if I could have left on a mission when I was 19. I chose this mission pathway when I was 18 and a junior in high school. The next year and a half of my life was dedicated to getting ready for a mission. Even though all of sudden I no longer had to wait I couldn't help but feel like I had lost time by waiting now that the age had been lowered. Thoughts like "If I left when I was 19 I wouldn't miss my brother's senior year" and "I wouldn't have to put off school and mess up loans" kept forcing their way inside my brain. This was such great news for young women and for the Church I just didn't understand why I felt this way. 
   After days of prayer and scripture study my attitude started to change. By no means did it happen quickly, but it happened. I prayed to the Lord simply asked to have faith. He didn't just give me faith He helped me to understand why things worked out the way they did. If I had left when I was 19 I wouldn't have spent a year and a half at Utah State. So many of the wonderful people that I know wouldn't be in my life. Without the friends and leaders from USU my life would be different. I wouldn't be the person I am today. They have all helped me be who I am and helped shape the Sister missionary I will be. Things don't always make sense or work out in a way that you want them to. Don't get discouraged. There is a reason for everything. It might not make sense now and you might not like it, but one day you will thank Him for it. Have faith in the Lord. He knows what He's doing and He knows your needs better than you do.